Insecurities Increase

by Antonette*

Insecurities increase,

with daily verbal abuse

and death threats,

All because of the way I dress.

Aging tranny bitch queen,

tattooed masculine lines,

some ‘bull-dyke’ on steroids.

Nice figure,

but face like Freddie Krueger,

the serial killer.

Why can’t people let me be?

Constantly judging

by first appearances.

You can’t judge

by looking at the wrapping.

The woman in me,

dying to be accepted.

The public forces the Queen

to put the dresses away

after a certain age.

The abuse and constant danger,

Forces the she-male

to only come out at night,

if at all.

Imprisoned by letting the forces

of the shallow general public,

To intimidate the feminine side,

so she must fade away

and hide.

The tranny bitch submissive Queen,

Too old to be seen as anything other

than a sexual deviant,

Fallen so far.

Starting over again

at the bottom,

Can’t get much lower

than a tranny working the stroll.

Shit on from all sides,

an abnormality.

Can I keep going,

dressing daily for my femininity?

Old memories,

sadden the heart,

vacant loneliness,

Stress upon stress.

Afraid I might kill

some ignorant young fuck,

For his ill timed,

homophobic foul mouth.

Don’t look 30,

but awesome for 50-something.

Strong masculine lines

and tattoos,

Constantly reinforce

the fitting handle

of,

Miss Understood.

* I found this wonderful poem at the Queer History Project website. You can find the story of the poem and other amazing queer stories there.